Saturday, April 25, 2009

it really sucks

Gene let us know last night there were 2 separate accidents Thursday night, a few blocks apart from each other on Hennepin Ave downtown. One guy received broken bones, but Gilbert is in a coma at HCMC after being hit by a car. That's all I know and it really sucks.

Happy news, Lindsay got her jacked wheels back thanks to Zito; he set the thieves up by responding to their ad and with a face-to-face sale. With wheels in hand, to their face, "You aint gettin the $150 askin price, but, you aint gettin an ass whoopin either, as 15-20 of MBMAs finest surround the punk and his child of drug addict friend." Of course they then threaten they'll pull a gun on him the next time they encounter him, but those are just words, right?

Hit the grocery store last night on the way home, got some ice cream and burritos, all of which are still in my bag. Dang.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Wool Socks - go to Stroker Ace on 34th and Lyndale

These just shipped in from Sockguy. They're pretty rad, as if'n you need me to come out and say it.

Seriously, these are as tall as a 40 is wide. And wool.

Wool socks, sucka.

Wear these, you might get some action; at least you'll be a leader in wicking perspiration from your skin. Comfy too.

Available big and small, relatively.

Visit Stroker Ace, 15-bucks per pair.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Greenway Assaults R Us

My friend KellyMac just moments ago got hit in the head by a rock while riding on the Midtown Greenway - near 16th Ave. Broke her glasses.

We report, you decide.

douchebag junior

Yet another anti-cycling editorial, this time by hate-slinger Zach Colman, who's otherwise too busy "fall[ing] asleep at the wheel because I had to wake up for a worthless 8 a.m. biology lab".

My main disagreement with this piece of satire is his statement concerning the speed limit. Zach states that since bicycles might not be able to reach the posted speed limit on a particular road, then the bicycle should not be on the road; going on to state that cars drive faster than the speed limit. Remember what "speed limit" means - it's the maximum speed allowed under law, not the minimum speed like the author implies in his editorial.

And Zach, comparing bicyclists to Lance Armstrong is just silly, just as the drivers of automobiles should not be compared to Richard Petty - we're simply on our way from one place to the next, just like you.

greenway comments

I received several emails from people in dismay at how I could say such a nasty thing about the greenway such as not wanting to ride a bicycle on it, and to even go as far as recommending others do the same.

I'm required to go back a bit. Here goes: I rode the greenway every day back-and-forth for many years, eagerly awaiting each section to open up, sometimes years after planned, to its present ending at the Mississippi. Don't get me wrong, it's a good trail with few intersections involving automobiles. I do find several problems with it, however. First of all, and you can't argue with me here: it's in a ditch. This ditch is largely out of sight and earshot from the public - okay, argue if you must. Secondly and importantly, see all those bridges you ride under? Perfect for dropping and throwing shit on people utilizing said greenway. I'm not alone here, but I've had all sorts of foreign objects dropped and thrown on me while on the greenway: glass and plastic bottles, rocks, spit, a piece of firewood, etc. This is not counting the objects I've seen laying in the pathway that were not directly aimed at me, including: bicycles, a television, an industrial ashtray, countless bottles and cans, concrete chunks (yes, with rebar), bricks, a skateboard, cans of food, you get the idea. Thirdly is the lack of recourse. So someone throws an object at me or in my path, now what? By the time I turn around and up to see who it was, they're already ducked under the bridge railing and running away. Kids will be kids, especially ones with no parental supervision because they're working three jobs to pay the rent. Kids are throwing stuff off the bridges at riders. It's what kids do. Ten years from now you'll have kids throwing shit off the bridges at riders. What's the solution here? If you tell the kids not to throw things on people, they're going to want to do it more. Put the bikes up on Lake St and the cars on the greenway? Sounds like a wonderful idea to me.

Let's not go into the physical assaults that have occured on the path, largely but not exclusively after dark. There are lots of dark places for people to hang out and wait for a lone biker - I've been there and was lucky enough to avoid it, it sucks.

So for all the times I've been harassed riding on roads, most of it is verbal, which is pretty easy for me to shrug off. There was that one time I ended up with a bloody and swollen face for a few days after an encounter by a group of young men on Franklin, but that so far was a one time deal. Okay, I had a carload of asshats hit me in the face with something hard thrown out of their window on the west bank, so that's twice. Well, there have been a few other minor altercations in there as well, like the car that ran into me while riding home on King Kamehameha highway, but that was 13-years ago and in a different city and state altogether so I don't even think that counts.

Historically though, and this is over 20+ years of riding on the roads, I've experienced a higher Mark-jacking per mile on the greenway than on the roadways. On top of that, I don't feel comfortable riding on the greenway - what with the possibility of something hitting the back of my head, the twenty-dozen recumbents with their waving safety flags, and the jackholes walking out of the bike shop on the midtown commons not taking the time to look before they dumbly walk across the path. Yeah, I said jackhole.

Either way, don't distract any of this from your riding, and on any path or road you feel comfortable with; I'll do the same. We all ride at our own risk, path or road. Oh, and make sure to wear your helmet, any style is fine.

That's all for now.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

So You're Going to Ride a Bicycle in Minneapolis

Here's a bit of advice for those thinking of riding their bicycles in the Minneapolis:

1 - Avoid major streets. I think the reason I see so many people riding down Hennepin and Lyndale is because that's how they get around in their car - you're on a bike now, think path of least resistance. For example, riding down Lyndale is not a good idea due to the abundance of automobile traffic, not to mention the construction has it down to one very narrow lane in each direction south of 31st St. Instead go east over to Garfield or west to Aldrich - smooth sailing with very few vehicles to deal with. There is a con to this; fewer people to see your new white deep-V's.

2 - The Midtown Assaultway (aka Greenway); forget riding on this thing anywhere east of Chicago Avenue unless you like getting rocks, bottles, cans, and other objects dropped and thrown on/at you, otherwise go up and use the city streets - yes, this is during daylight hours as well. Nighttime it's not a good idea to ride any parts of it, especially alone; you'll be better off dealing with the drunk drivers on the streets than the assaulters down in the dark. Oh, and when the cops ask you if the rock hit you, say yes, because they aren't going to press charges unless you say it did.

3 - Lose the attitude. You don't have to push this whole bullshit hatred cars have for bicycles any further, so go ahead and stop at that intersection.

4 - Get yourself a front and rear light. The Planet Bike SuperFlash is the best thing out there for a rear LED, especially considering its low price. Get something that flashes for the front too; I again recommend the SuperFlash 1W from Planet Bike. Avoid all Cateye products, as they're shit - poor design and engineering make for a poor light. Whatever you choose, don't leave it on your bike when you lock up, some asshole will steal it.

5 - Get a U-lock. Use it. Ask a bike shop person if you aren't sure how to use it properly - ie what to lock up and to where.

6 - Clothing. You don't have to be in "cycling specific clothing" to go ride your bike. Go out in your jeans or skirt; remember, path of least resistance. You should make sure to have the proper t-shirt on, however.

7 - Lastly, if you're looking to enjoy a beverage anywhere on the ride without getting any hassle, it helps if you utilize an unmarked cup verses a labeled can or bottle. Guns you're allowed to carry, beer not so much.

God bless.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Undies, falls, and beards

That time of year is nearly upon us: (from our friends at
Here's one of the large faller, showing off his new custom frameset before the locals out in Portland:


Here's a blast from the past; me a few years ago, can't say there's been a whole lot of change. Skivvies? Check.
Carrie just did a write up on beards for the Utne Reader blog, inspired from a Momentum article by Amy Walker on the same.  I made it into the Utne Reader (blog); this is it, doesn't get any better.

Beard or no beard, go ride.

Friday, April 10, 2009

It's t-shirt season!

And while you're at it, go buy a t-shirt or sweatshirt at the Stroker Ace - now with on-line ordering options - crazy!

American apparel and locally made by two guys who likely don't know it's the 21st century.  Of course I'm biased towards this one, but that's because you'd be a lot hotter wearing it.

photo by Kelly Mac

fair Friday, it ain't that good afterall

Good god, and if she had? I say throw that pan of molten sauce in his face and keep both the beers; else he's gonna hit you in the other eye.

This doesn't look like the best of ideas, but what the hell, let's give it a go. Must be from some non-USofA country.

And finally; something you don't want to think about too much, as your head might implode - but what are the odds of finding a Prius parked outside a yoga studio? I know, it's like the stay puft marshmallow man - try to keep your mind off it entirely, you know what happens if you don't, right?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

2009 Artcrank - Minneapolis

Charles put on another great Artcrank.
Director Charles

Around 2330 my camera got taken out. I got it back at 0400 with 650 photos on it. I took some of those 650, hard to say which ones though. I was told there was a ball sack photo shoot. I'm relieved to say there wasn't; at least not with this camera on this particular night.

Melissa and bunch

Tam and Kelly - boots




Heidi's boots


0330 is whiskey time

more shoes

Ride home in the snow, at least it's not rain. In bed by 5.

Speaking on the posters, I think we all know which artists aren't getting invited back next year.

Oh and remember Brauer's stolen Salsa track bike? It got found and all in one piece too.
Salsa Track Bike - now just formerly stolen

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

new tattoo - I finally did it

I spent 3, count them 3 hours this morning laying with my back up at Uptown Tattoo getting this beauty lettered and outlined in across my shoulders.  I'm going back in 3 weeks (when my paycheck comes in) for the final coloring, which is gonna make this puppy stand OUT.  

Watch out ladies, cause it's the year of the shirtless summer!