bicycle news

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

bad news cycles

So I ride up to the Rainbow grocery in the Uptown district. I dismount, note the new bike rack, and also note there are more bikes in the rack than it's designed for. So I stand back a minute, as no fewer than four people are unlocking their bikes; two of these people are men, men who introduce themselves to each other and quickly take the small talk to that of bicycles and what an amazingly sweet shop re-cycle is up on Hennepin. These guys are in such agreement they decide to engage in mutual masterbation while furthering their positive discussion of this shop known to the rest of the city for their ridiculously over-priced bicycles as well as their unsafe and uneducated maintenance practices. The younger reddish bearded guy with the piece of shit yellow 1980's 10-speed says he paid 200-bucks for it at this shop; I try with all my might not to cough up my right testical in the notion that not only did he pay that much for what was clearly 20-dollars worth of 75-pounds, but that someone else is balsy enough to ask that much for it; something I'm obviously not able to get away with, what with my near loss of a gonad and all. Not surprising is that he quickly mentions that after plunking 200-clams for this jalopy, he had to go back 2-days later to get it adjusted, as none of the gears worked. No shit?

So when the intimacy dies down a bit, re-cycle guy #1 finally moves his bike out of the way, undresses me with his eyes, before moving himself out of the way. I walk in, the lines are 15+ long, I go back out and ride my elite ass to Lunds, wishing none of this ever occurred. Then I went home and wrote about it. Sad.

Seriously, stay away from this place; should have mentioned it sooner. And while we're at it, stay away from the Rainbow too.

1 comment:

TOMMY GUN said...

so succinct, yet eloquent. Especially for a man with one testicle....